On: Changes

My desk is pretty empty today. It's hard to believe, but these are my last days at my current position. By Monday, I will have a new office, and a new desk, and a window. That window is very important! For the past 4 years, I have worked in a building where only the Very Important People get windows. The world could have been on fire, and I wouldn't have known until 5PM.

I am making this move for my career, of course. I want to be an LPC and that takes clients. My current position wasn't giving me clients. It's quite simple math really.

But it was a very hard decision for us as a family. We are still learning about ourselves as a team of three. And to add another variable, a new unknown job, to the mix seemed very overwhelming. But this opportunity gave us a chance to communicate in ways that have been pretty challenging since the baby came; good communication requires patience and sleep, which tend to run a little short in those early months.

It took me many trips to both the car and the recycling bin to make it seem like I never sat at this desk. That I didn't spend a good chunk of my life at this desk. That I didn't sit here feeling Audie (who was still Krang at the time) kick after my morning coffee. That I didn't spout way too many cuss words and political diatribes from this chair. Despite our best efforts at boundaries, our home lives and our work lives become intertwined.

That intertwining at my current job has been wonderful and helpful. I have worked with amazing women who love their jobs and their families, and I have learned so much from them. I have appreciated their humor, kindness, gracious spirits, quick wits and intelligence. I know we will be friends moving forward for many reasons, namely because they are bad-ass, but also because we were coworkers who weren't afraid to let our home lives into our work lives.

Audie is almost one. I want her to know me as a working person, a person with a career I feel passionately about. I want her to know that life gives us places to do great work and places that can put fire in our bellies. I'm excited for her to begin to find consciousness around how I share myself with the world with my work. I'm glad I can keep making career decisions that I think she can be proud of later. And I want her to know that change happens and to approach it with flexibility and an open mind.